<insert bitchy/quirky/amused rant>

You know, I'm glad I have a personality. No, seriously. And yes, this is another Older-Sister-Rant. Because? I don't know how she has survived to be 21. Really. I'm convinced she must be either a) a really good actor, or b)the people around her are just as shallow and self absorbed and rude as she is. Otherwise? The entire world makes no sense.

She has gotten her way and the family has forced to cram even more things in just so she could have some more room in her bedroom. I've just stopped caring, really. If my mother wants to punish herself continuously this way? I just send smug/sympathetic looks her way every now and again, and retreat to my bedroom. I like my bedroom - beyond a bathroom, fridge and...no, that's about it, it has everything. I'm happy in here.
Anyway. Today I avoided her (we all had a day off from school/uni/work/whatever), until she left to go to the shopping mall for some reason. Her parting remark? "You better be ready to help me move furniture when I get back." I may have looked stunned. Because? No "please will you help me move furniture" or "hey lauren, I could use your help later, are you busy?". I just?

Anyway. I mostly ignore/filter out most of what she says....I've got this skill down quite well now. She used to make my cry so much up until I was about 16...which was when she was at her meanest. Then I realised that she probably was just being a real fucking bitch to me because she could - and I shouldn't take anything she said to heart. But it was hard, y'know? Anyway. Since then I basically just ignore her, or make scathing marks that go over her head.

I'm more convinced than ever that she isn't even aware that sarcasm exists. I'm being deadly serious, flist. My mother got home just now, and I was talking to her, and Luanne walked past and was like "You are such a nasty person Lauren". And I was like, what? I may have done the stunned fish expression again. However, for the next fifteen minutes, whatever my mom said, I would say loudly, "No, I am much to nasty for that." And I went off on this tangent on how my dad was being SO SELFISH for not coming home on time so he could fix the printer for me and instead doing stupid things like WORKING LATE for money which was so obviously being NOT spent on me...to which my mom added, "oh yes, all this frivelous spending I'm doing", and I continued on....that it was just like this family to continuously think of themselves and leave me out of everything and just how NASTY they all were...and by this time my mom and I were both smirking, and Luanne came past and is all, "You really are such a nasty person." and I was all "Oh yes, I know. I can't seem to get past it. Seems permanent. I'm so glad you brought it to my attention though, because through all the nastiness I might never have noticed." And she didn't seem to know how to deal with it.

And I kept going. My poseidon DVD came with the carabiner today...and a compass. I stuck it onto my watch so I could pee (I had been clutching it to show to my mom and was in the bathroom and about to sit down when I realised how...awkward it could be so just attached it to my watch)....and I was in the process of removing it when my younger sister commented on it, and so I was all, "well, I thought it would help me navigate out of my nasty personality" to which my younger sister and mom sniggered...but Luanne didn't get it. Then the phone rang, and I was in the middle of a conversation with my mom so she was forced to sprint down the hallway...and while she was, she was shouting, "OF COURSE LAUREN WOULDN'T GO GET THE PHONE, TOO LAZY TO GET OFF HER ASS..." and I smirked and was all, "I'M AFRAID ITS A BYPRODUCT OF MY NASTY PERSONALITY." And I don't think that she knows I'm being equally as rude and sarcastic and that other word I can't think of right now....

But seriously. My mom, dad, younger sister and I literally sit around and bitch about her. No, seriously. About everything. Just then? I went into the parentals room to enquire about dinner, and my dad asked, "Is she going out tonight?" and at the same time, my mom and I said, "PLEASE GOD." And we all sniggered nastily. We do that quite a bit. And we all clench our fists and jaws and lips and shoot daggers at her. AND SHE IS OBLIVIOUS. Stuck in LuanneLand where if it isn't revolving around her and benefitting her, then she doesn't care or notice.

I am also wondering around the house shouting orders at people and demanding they do stuff for me, and as explanation, I'm all "DO THIS FOR ME NOW. I DEMAND IT OF YOU. FEED MY NASTY PERSONALITY." I think I am getting way to much amusement out of this then normal people do.

</rant>

Also: why haven't people caught on to the illegal love that is Spyboy/Gingerman from Stormbreaker? Hello? Anyone?I had something more to say, but I am just too amused. SO AMUSED!!!!!!!!

ps - I totally need: a dueSouth or CKR icon, a Dr Who icon, a stormbreaker icon, and a REALLY SMUG/SMIRKING icon. I suspect the latter can be quickly found in SGA-dom.

You should see my smirking.

MY MOTHER HAS FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT.
You may be able to tell this is another bitchfest about my older sister. The backstory: she is the firstborn, the eldest, and so my mother has not been able to see past it. So she coddled her - when she moved out we gave her the majority of our furniture, paid her rent, gave her one of our cars, gave her money whenever she needed it (she was too busy spending her money on frivelous things - she bought a piece of jewellery for THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS. Just a necklace. For no reason). Anyway. And then, she just decided to join us here in Perth, and so we paid for her to come (after paying for about 4 visits she made up here in the past 1.5 years) and storage and transport etc etc. My parents had to take out a loan. Anyway. So. We boarded up our computer/music room so it could be a proper, enclosed room because our spare bedroom was "too small" for her. She decided that since both rooms were so 'small', she would have both. You can imagine how my dad, sister and I complained to my mom - we don't have enough room in our house for her to have two rooms - we have furniture as well, you know? But Luanne -- oh boy. Anyway. She went out and bought a bed frame the other day. JUST BECAUSE.

Anyway. All of her stuff arrived the other day - she has more stuff than the rest of the family put together, and I am a horder. Like you cannot believe. So we have boxes lining our hallways and in everyone's rooms (except hers, because she doesn't want "clutter") and outside. We also had to move our fold-out couch outside and spare single bed. We put her two (TWO) huge cupboards in the spare room, plus boxes and suitcases and clothes and things, and all her junk everywhere else, and she hasn't been home to clean or unpack. My family has not been happy.

Then suddenly this morning, my mother got out of the shower and said: "I AM SO STUPID. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? Do not answer that Lauren."  And I'm like, "what's going on?" And my mother is all "I AM SO STUPID. WHY AM I LETTING LUANNE RULE OUR LIVES? WE MUST BE ALL CLUTTERED AND UNCOMFORTABLE JUST SO SHE CAN HAVE TWO BEDROOMS AND GET HER OWN WAY AND MAKE OUR LIVES HELL?"
And I was shocked, "You mean, all these things we've been complaining to you about for months?" And she's all "HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!!!"

And then we spent all morning moving Luanne's cupboards into the room with her bed, plus all her boxes and 'decorational' crap (like, GIANT giraffes - what?) and then putting all our furniture back into the other one. The whole time my mother shaking her head at herself. We all decided Luanne was going to throw a huge tantrum when she got home because she finally would stop getting her own way, and having us all bend over backwards just so she could be QueenLuanne.

Hours later, Luanne finally returned, just as my parents were getting ready to go out. We all ignored her as she shrieked up and down the house "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS! I AM NOT HAVING FURNITURE CLUTTERING MY ROOM! CHANGE IT THE FUCK BACK! THIS IS NOT FAIR!" and we continued to ignore her and so she continued shrieking "I FUCKING HATE YOU. I CANT FUCKING LIVE LIKE THIS." to which we all gave her a Look, because, hello, how do you think we've been living, having to move all of our stuff just so she can have two fucking bedrooms - one for all her shit and another to look 'pretty'. And then my mother is like "Other people manage. You will manage." And Luanne continued to shriek "I CANT FUCKING LIVE HERE. IM MOVING OUT." To which we all smiled happily and nodded our heads, and she was crying with rage and sulking and STORMED out of the house and got into her car and started up the engine ------ which was when she remembered her friend was over as well, so waited for him to get into the car before screaming out of the driveway. She hasn't been home.

*SMIRKS*. So now, finally, after making most of my life hell, Luanne does not get her own way and will have to face the facts that she won't be spoiled rotten if she lives in this house, and that she will have to make do like the rest of us do, and that unlike her, we can't afford to indulge her every whim.

This pleases me greatly.

In other news
I haven't watched the new SG1 episode as I only got to download last weeks episode last night - I watched that. I hate how Um. That's all. *runs away to download more*
I should probably do some Uni work, or something.

I swear to God....*SCREAMFLAILSWEAR*. 
Honestly. There is no one, no one,  like my older sister Luanne. I literally want to tear my hair out. God. I want to throw a huge big fat tantrum. Because. SERIOUSLY. 

She lives in Adelaide. I live in Perth. This wondrous living situation has been heaven for 1.5 years. I like her when she is not in the same state as me. I cannot stand her when she is in this state. Seriously. She comes here, is all Queen Luanne because no, she expects to be treated like a guest in this house, which means everyone must go out of their way to do things for her and give up all their things for her, but she's allowed to be as rude and condescending and cruel as she likes. I really, really hate people like her. She's nice maybe 5% of the time I am in her presence. I'm little more than an inconveniance who sometimes has things that she wants from me. God. She has been in Perth for 2 hours. I shit you not, and already I am ranting. 
The reason? She is rude and all "Oh, pity me, poor me", which is fine, but then she walks around, comes into my room, is rude to me about it, and makes rude comments, then, then, demands to use the laptop for some "work related things", which turns out to be her just wanting to use MySpace...and then continues to be rude to me, and all, 
"Oh, when I move to Perth I'm going to use the laptop. I'm doing a graphic design course and will need the laptop." Meantime, I use it for Uni. No doubt she thinks she takes precidence. I'm like, excuse me? And she's all, "FUCK OFF BITCH". Well, not so much in words, but in her body language. There is no way to describe how much better she thinks she is.

I swear to god. If/when she moves here, and she will have to live in this house for a while, I swear to god, I WILL NOT live here. I swear. I just told my mother that she better give me advance warning if my sister is going to live here, because at that time? I will put myself up in a motel or something if I have too. My sister shits me that much. She is here for...4 days? I am barely surviving day 1. This is going to be a long, long four days. 

I have no words for her. I really, really don't. God. *whines*.